4-Day NBA Warning: Mario Chalmers, Elevator Guy

Inspired by the NFL Warning series by Robert Mays at Grantland, the NBA Warning series is exactly what you think it is: tackling certain individuals, storylines and trends to look forward to as we count down the days until the start of the 2013-14 NBA season.

There’s a guy at my condo who gets into the elevator in the middle of a phone call. He will press, let’s say the 15th floor, and as the elevator takes him to where he needs to go, he’ll continue that conversation, except he loses his phone signal almost right away. 

But he doesn’t stop, not because the call is that important, but out of some self belief that the rules can’t possibly apply to him, and that he can make this call happen even when it’s obvious he can’t.

There’s really not one guy and the incident I described didn’t happen just one time. It happens all the time, with different people, and it bugs me so much every time. Maybe the call was really important, or maybe this guy is really oblivious to the fact that you lose your calls when you get into an elevator. But I don’t have time for maybe’s when I’m busy being annoyed at my evaluation of your assumed thought process. 

Which brings me to Mario Chalmers, because he is also an elevator guy. 

The Heat point guard annoys me — he annoys a lot of people, there are sites devoted to the people yelling at him — but I can’t really give you a well-thought out explanation about it. There’s a lot of showboating in basketball, in sports, that is much worst than Chalmers, who is more self assured than he is a hot dog. 

When he makes a three, or just a good basketball play, he enjoys it a little too much, he overvalues his worth to the team. But he’s won a national championship with Kansas and he’s a back-to-back NBA champion. He hit one of the most important threes in NCAA tournament history, and all of this success in his career just becomes positive reinforcement to his bloated belief in himself. 

Maybe sometimes I just don’t like seeing people succeed and take a little too much undeserved credit for it. I’m sure most of us have those same thoughts about other people, whether it’s someone you know, someone you kind of know, or someone you don’t know at all but watch play basketball for eight months every year. 

I don’t even know anything about Mario Chalmers, by all accounts he’s most likely a decent dude, but because of that self belief he has in himself, like the guy who won’t give up on his phone call in the elevator, I just can’t help being annoyed at someone who I don’t really know too well, if at all. 

A few weeks ago, Chalmers went 0 for 9 from the field, missing all seven of his three point attempts in a pre-season game against the Wizards. He later blamed it on the crab dip he ate at the Verizon Center, and claimed he would stick to crab dip from Alaska only from here on out. 

It’s stories like this that just doesn’t help change the way I feel about him. And you know what, even though sports is an exercise in entertainment and furthering our knowledge of how things work, we can’t possibly understand everything; so I’m more than happy to just continue my dislike of Chalmers instead of trying to find some meaning to all of this. 

Besides, who likes everyone anyways?

4 notes

  1. dexxx said: first its your love for popeyes, now its your hate for chalmers. Agree 100% on all accounts
  2. veryretrounicorn reblogged this from stevenlebron
  3. stevenlebron posted this


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