The Greatest Slam Dunk Contest Recap

As a little nod to NBA All-Star weekend Saturday night, I decided to bring the hype on the title for this one.

Robert Horry finally couldn’t make a shot when he needed it, Fall Out Boy wore Jordan jerseys because nothing says basketball more than Fall Out Boy wearing Jordan jerseys and giving him a birthday shout, Yao and Mutombo were Slam Dunk Contest judges and TNT somehow decided not to wire them for sound, and well, there was the actual dunks.

Saturday night for NBA’s All-Star weekend — and the dunk contest in particular — is like any New Year’s Eve party you’ve ever been to. You talk about it, you hype it up, and then it ultimately disappoints, you lament it, you wake up the next morning and life goes on. And when the calendar rolls around next year, you do it all over again.

Or, it’s just like Dwight Howard trade rumors, it dies down and comes back every year, only not as strong.

Filter through the annual complaints, and there’s still something entertaining there, even if it’s not as memorable or time tested like Vince Carter, or Dee Brown, or Jordan, depending on your generation.

James White brought out the flight attendants, Gerald Green brought out a ladder — which I thought he should’ve used to hang an Intercontinental Title belt on top and grab it on his way up for a dunk — and cut the nets, and then did something entirely forgettable.

Most fun shot of the crowd: Alicia Keys recording the whole thing on her iPhone, while husband Swizz Beatz fights his urges to put the whole video on Megaupload.

Award for most random people with courtside seats to the Dunk Contest: a three-way tie between Jerome “Junk Yard Dog” Williams, Andre Drummond and Rashard Lewis.

In the finals, Terrence Ross and Jeremy Evans didn’t disappoint. Ross paid homage to Vince Carter — who by the way has more career points than Larry Bird, which is weirder than anything that has and will happen this weekend — and didn’t even get a jumper’s knee injury in the process.

Evans dunked over a painting that he created himself, which immediately inspired Kobe to paint a portrait of the Lakers season by just randomly splattering paint on a canvas. Or as friend of the blog Cian O’Day called it: A Phil Jackson Pollack.

But in the end, Ross dunked over a ball boy, and even if Kenny was hesitant to tell everyone that it was over, it was.

And we all go back to complaining about something else.

For Ross, it’s back to reality, and that reality means back to Toronto and playing behind Alan Anderson in the Raptors’ rotation.

Updated count for the Raptors franchise: one playoff series win, two Slam Dunk titles, in case anyone’s keeping count.

If you were disappointed by it all, just know that at least we didn’t get any teddy bear narratives this time.

Until next year.

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